In his new book, falloutboy's trohman forwent the salacious expose for a psychological study on himself
What was the process like of putting this book together? At the end of it, you talk about how you never wanted to write a book.
So much of the book is about your relationship with your mom — specifically her mental health struggles and how that affected you. Was it difficult to revisit that time and do it in such a public way, or was that cathartic? Or do you not know yet? I live in my head so much unfortunately — sometimes for better, most of the time for worse. But in living in my head all the time and thinking about this stuff, it’s like working on a puzzle you don’t understand yet. The longer you work on it, eventually you go “Oh OK, I understand why I didn’t get this puzzle, and it makes sense now.” That rang true when it came to connecting the dots and my upbringing — especially my relationship to my mom. But therapy definitely got me there.
It wasn’t hard because I was writing about it from my point of view, and I think unless you have massive gripes with your band members… I mean, yeah, we’ve had gripes, but they’re as serious as a gripe with a sibling that at the end of the day you love. They’re not real. That’s our relationship for better or worse. It’s like a sibling relationship. We’re friends also, but you know the history of the band, we’ve been doing it for 20-something years.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to not be an impostor. In fact, right now, you’re talking to me in a moment where my imposter syndrome and my anxieties have gotten far worse than they’ve been in a long time. I think some of that is in conjunction with doing the press and getting ready to release this book. Some of it is just circumstantial. Some of it is because I’ve been changing medications just to figure some stuff out. It’s a combo platter of things.
Outside of the work you’ve done personally, it’s really clear how much work you’ve done when it comes to getting more secure with your role in the band. Do you feel like that’s true?
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