Bonnie Tsai, an etiquette expert, advises acknowledging mistakes immediately to avoid further miscommunication. She suggests using the situation as a chance to deepen relationships and address underlying issues. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, also recommends that the person who was talked about behind their back should initiate an honest discussion about the matter.
Etiquette expert Bonnie Tsai agrees that the most important thing to do after getting caught red-handed is to own up to it right away. Denying it can further create miscommunication and only make things worse.
Additionally, such a mistake can be a great chance to discuss any underlying conflict or resentment in the relationship. “See it as an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to deepen your relationship as well,” Tsai said. “It does take a lot of courage to be vulnerable.” Conversely, the person who found out that they were talked about behind their back can be the first to say something about it and honestly discuss the things that were said about them, says Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert. “The person might have been reasonable in what they were saying, even though it might have been something that was better said to your face rather than to your back,” she said.
As with any other kind of loss, it’s also important to take care of yourself. Even though it might be easier to mop all day, getting your nails done, socializing, listening to music, taking a walk outside, or reading can be healthy outlets that make you feel better. Anything that brings you joy and satisfaction is self-care and can help recover from the breakup pain.
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