A diner breakfast isn't just a meal; it's a full experience. And it’s impossible to re-create it at home. asytsma writes
Perfect. Photo: Alexander Spatari/Getty Images My favorite diner in America is on the North Fork of Long Island. It’s on the main corner in Greenport. I couldn’t tell you the name, because, like all great diners, it is simply “the diner.” I’m pretty sure it has undergone at least one, and possibly several, changes in ownership since I started going there, because the décor has changed over the years.
Lately, I cannot stop thinking about Giant Diner Breakfasts. This started about a month ago, when I saw one of the few good things on Twitter: Normally, when this happens and the idea of a single food or meal is lodged in your brain, you can go eat that thing or you cook it yourself. Alas, that diner in Greenport — which, after Googling, I now see is actually called Crazy Beans — is, like most diners, closed to sit-down diners for the foreseeable future. Getting a Giant Diner Breakfast for takeout or delivery would just be depressing. And preparing a GDB is also out of the question, because it is impossible to re-create at home.
Giant Diner Breakfast is everything, by which I mean it is all breakfast foods, served simultaneously, until the Formica table overflows with heavy-duty plates, bottles of ketchup and hot sauce, big cups of juice, and those little plastic packets of Smucker’s jelly. The shopping and prep alone would take a full day. And while I’d be happy to cook sunny-side-up eggs or pancakes or corned-beef hash or giant omelettes filled with peppers and ham, I absolutely can’t cook them all at the same time.
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