Dear Care and Feeding: I Blamed My Daughter’s Ex-Husband for Their Divorce. Boy, Was I Wrong.

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Dear Care and Feeding: I Blamed My Daughter’s Ex-Husband for Their Divorce. Boy, Was I Wrong.
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  • 📰 Slate
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Our daughter completely lied to us about her divorce. I feel terrible about how I treated her ex-husband.

I believe our intuition serves as our internal alarm system, and if your daughter is feeling uncomfortable around her uncle, it probably means that alarm is blaring. It can be tricky because there’s no “smoking gun” or indisputable evidence that he’s behaving in a creepy manner, so it really comes down to how much you trust your daughter.

Also, your husband’s logic about why his brother is not a creep is comically absurd. So, successful married men can’t be sexual predators? What planet does your husband live on? I could rattle off the names of at least fifteen “successful married men” who preyed on children without even blinking.With feelings as serious as this, I always believe you should take the child’s word seriously.

It’s obvious to me that your family should not go to this man’s house on Labor Day weekend, but what’s troubling to me is how your husband is invalidating your daughter’s feelings. It can be extremely damaging when parents don’t have their kids’ backs, and you need to firmly remind your husband of that. My brother is my best friend, but if my daughters said he was glaring at them in a way that made them uncomfortable, I would instantly confront him about it.

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