There’s no animosity, nor have there ever been any harsh words, but we never bonded.
My niece and I get along beautifully but, no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to break through to my sister-in-law. She is very dismissive of my grief. She never calls and never asks about my life. She never visits or reaches out in any way. She’s responsive and kind when I do, but the communications are one-sided.
I honestly wouldn’t miss her if I didn’t see her, but my loyalty to my brother and my desire to keep my niece out of the middle has kept me from distancing too much. Now that my parents and brother are gone, there are things I would like to pursue on my own. How much do I owe to her? -- FUTURE-THINKING IN TENNESSEE
DEAR FUTURE-THINKING: Your brother’s widow may have been dealing with her own grief over the loss of her spouse and unable to handle yours. Be cordial to her, as she is to you, but go on with your life and relationships. Remember her on special occasions with a call, a card or an invitation. If you and your niece have a closer bond, those things should come naturally.
You have handled the responsibilities life handed you with grace and generosity. It is now time for you to enjoy your own life and worry less about the lives of others.DEAR ABBY: I recently left my boyfriend. He said he loved me, but I felt like a third wheel in our relationship. He had a female friend he was constantly borrowing money from, even though we both work. He also gave her relationship advice.
DEAR BAILING: Wrong? NO! The man had no respect for your feelings or for you. For all of the reasons you mentioned, you are much better off without him. I’m glad you finally summoned up enough self-esteem to end things with the two of them. To paraphrase the late Princess Diana, there were three people in your relationship.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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