DEAR ABBY: I once hosted a holiday dinner for which I had made a ham and a turkey with all the sides and three different pies.
I even made a special mince pie for one of the guests. The guests -- my brothers-in-law, my brother and his family of four and his mother-in-law -- all showed up carrying empty Tupperware. At the end of the day, all I had left was dirty dishes.
My sister-in-law cooks the meat she received as a gift from her employer, and the rest of the guests prepare the sides and desserts. I NEVER go empty-handed. At the end of the meal, she transfers any leftovers to their own Tupperware and gives us back the cleaned bowls. If I ask for a little of something to take home, she protects her leftovers like they were her children.
DEAR HOPING: If you would like the living, breathing definition of presumptuous guests and ungracious hosts, look no further than your in-laws’ contact file. The fault, however, may not lie solely with them. If this has happened more than once and you cannot summon the courage to tell these greedy folks to put away their Tupperware and help with the dishes, you can’t blame them for assuming you don’t mind being imposed upon in this way.
I don’t want to seem selfish for wanting to live independently, but I don’t know how to tell them. I don’t know how to tell them anything because, in the past, they haven’t listened to me. If you have any advice on how to tell them, I would be very grateful. -- NERVOUS GIRL IN NEW YORK
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