Dear Abby advises a stepmom who feels betrayed, and a man who wants to end a long-term relationship that no longer works.
I am a first-generation Mexican American who married into a Caucasian blended family. My husband, my stepdaughter, “Lisa,” and her mother and stepfather make up a beautiful unit. I have no children. Although my family initially ruffled at my interracial marriage, they got with the program –so much so that we invited Lisa to partake in a coming-of-age rite, the quinceanera.
Suddenly, when Lisa was 14 — a year before the quinceanera, when planning should be ramped up, not down — my extended family went into radio silence. Despite our attempts to encourage, coach and generate excitement, we were led to believe Lisa had gotten cold feet and was reconsidering the event. We honored her wishes and planned to find other ways to make her feel special. Two weeks before her 15th birthday, Lisa sent me an invitation for her quinceanera! Abby, words cannot express how heartbroken I feel. I was supposed to teach her about the cultural significance of what she was embarking on. I attended anyway, making sure to shower her with praise and put on a good face. However, in addition to being devastated, I was deeply offended.
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