Dear Abby: I’m 56, and my desire for a child might end our marriage

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Dear Abby: I’m 56, and my desire for a child might end our marriage
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My husband doesn’t want to give up his comfortable life.

If ever a couple could use marital counseling, it’s the two of you to help you determine whether a compromise can be reached.He would flirt with other women and say things to me about an ex-girlfriend he broke up with before marrying his first wife.

He has told me four different times that we should separate. The first three times, I cried about it. The last time he said it, I told him never to say that to me again. I have always tried my best to be a good wife to him. He’s verbally abusive most of the time. When I see him coming home from work, my stomach ties in knots because I don’t know what kind of mood he’s in. He can be good at times, but it’s not that often.UNHAPPY IN PENNSYLVANIAIt’s important you recognize that you are married to an emotional abuser. He maintains his power in your relationship by eroding your sense of self-esteem.

Discuss with a licensed mental health professional the treatment you have tolerated for the last 30 years and your desire to rebuild your shattered self-esteem. It may take time to accomplish, but it will be money well spent.Once you feel better about yourself, you can then make a well-thought-out decision about whether to continue being married to him.

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