'We need storylines such as this to amplify real-life voices, raise awareness and change the way that these taboo topics are viewed for the better.' definingmum
was running a POI storyline, I had hope that this was going to bring a much-needed topic out of the shadows and cast light on the challenges faced when told that you’re entering early menopause and may not be able to have children. This was a great opportunity for others like me to feel seen, represented and to raise awareness and change perceptions to a wide audience within society.“Using donor eggs to conceive is not surrogacy. I am not my children’s surrogate; I am their mum.
The doctor’s words were so far from my reality. A surrogate is defined as “a type of pregnancy in which a woman carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children”. Using donor eggs to conceive is not. I am not my children’s surrogate; I am their mum. Not their genetic mum, but still a real, ‘proper’ mum. There is a huge difference between being a surrogate for a woman who couldn’t carry her own child and using another woman’s eggs to carry your own child.
Incorrect terminology such as this can be incredibly damaging and triggering to many that have been through a difficult path to parenthood. Julianne Boutaleb, a perinatal psychologist who works with people building their families through donor conception, worries that this will put off prospective parents and leave families open to hurtful and ignorant comments.
Many women who have used or are contemplating using an egg donor to conceive have been left devastated by this representation of their real-life situation, with one telling me that she was about to introduce the idea to her parents but now feels unable to, knowing that her mum watchesMisconceptions such as this are one of the biggest sources of pain for those struggling to conceive and bring home a baby.
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