My thanks to those who help the terminally ill to say goodbye to intolerable suffering. Bless you.
On Easter Saturday 2022 I was contacted by our local hospital to confirm that yes, my friend of 40 years’ request for medically assisted death was a long-held belief, not panic at her current terminal pain and suffering.
Each of us shared our 74 years of living with dogs, cats, horses, even pet poultry, and were often faced with a choice for these species. Our lifestyles differed, but each of us were independently nurturing many animals. When you are a caregiver it falls on you to make decisions for your pets. Both of us agreed that given a choice, each would choose their own exit from chronic unbearable pain, as we humans would if given a medically assisted goodbye to suffering. Never were we cavalier in the decision. It was when our pets’ pain threshold was crossed, their quality of life and the despair in their eyes that necessitated each goodbye. Each time we thanked our veterinarians for their part in the sad goodbyes. My friend lived alone, age 74, on a minimal income. She had broken her back as a child and had both bone spurs between her vertebrae and various cancers that necessitated frequent six-hour blood transfusions. She could barely walk, talk or care for herself. Despite the many friends in her life, everyone has their own personal responsibilities and can only devote so much time to even a good friend. Her pain was unbearable. After her last admission, when she was told there were no pain-relief options left, she suggested MAID. It was her time and she was unable to continue with the pain. The hospital called on me, at her request, to confirm this was a lifetime decision reached decades before the blessing of MAID. The personal decision to choose to end suffering that is off the scale of any reasonable assessment is not reached lightly. In my friend’s case, our conversations on the subject were based on our criteria for ending the suffering of beloved non-human fellow creatures out of our love for them. Applied to humans, we reassessed this stance as science improved a pain-free passing. It was not based on religion. Each person’s threshold for pain varies. Their responsibilities to family or society enter the decisions. The hospital staff did not take the request lightly. She gave them my contact to confirm her lifelong commitment to a clean, chosen goodbye. When phoned, all I could do was say: “Thank you, this is what she has wanted since her first major accident when she was young, the right, if in terminal pain, to choose her own goodbye.” Each person knows what works for them. MAID is not an imposed sentence of death. Think of it as an emergency exit from a burning building. MAID is not for everyone. Those whose suffering is so excruciating and terminal appreciate knowing there can be a chosen end to the torture.>>> To comment on this article, write a letter to the editor: letters@timescolonist.com
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