11 ways to make shared custody not suck
Shared custody, or co-parenting, can range from a hot mess of terribleness to peaceful and collaborative. Here’s how to do co-parenting well.Acrimony is expensive financially but also emotionally, particularly for your children. According to a report for the Ottawa-based Vanier Institute of the Family, kids who’ve lived through an ugly split are more likely to suffer from anxiety,and self-esteem issues, and are more likely to drop out of school.
In the aftermath of a split, many parents get caught up in the notion that “fair” means sharing access 50/50. “But what makes sense for the child might not look like that,” says Nancy Cameron, a family lawyer and parenting co-ordinator in Vancouver. If Mom travels often for work, it might make sense for the kids to spend more time with Dad. If your ex has always taken your child to hockey practice, try working that into the schedule—even if it means giving up some of “your” weekend.
. Never vent your frustrations about your ex to your kids—never. “Kids are terribly conflicted if they feel they have to align with one parent or the other,” says Cameron.
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