A letter writer always prefers boyfriend’s company to others’ — and worries this creates an unhealthy dependence on him.
I suspect that I am dependent on my boyfriend to an unhealthy degree. We live together and spend most of our free time together. I have a reasonable amount of good, close friends, but most of them live in other parts of the country.
You can be devoted to someone, immersed in someone and even willingly monopolized by someone without sacrificing your independence — which I define as your ability to thrive on your own, if and when needed. It’s not what you do with your days, but instead the underlying strength you bring to them that determines how you’ll weather a loss. “I’ll be devastated, but I’ll manage.” If these are words you can say with a straight face, then trust yourself and enjoy what you have.
Tell her you’re restless, admit you’d rather travel solo than wait another year and ask her opinion.
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