| Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend omitted how close he is to his ex — on ex’s advice

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| Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend omitted how close he is to his ex — on ex’s advice
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They’ve been dating three months, and he never mentioned how close he is to his ex — because she told him not to tell.

Fast-forward to a dinner party at his house. I didn’t know I was going to dinner with his ex-civilly unionized partner of five years turned best friend. That her name was still on the mailbox. That they’re best friends who do a lot together on a weekly basis.

I hate it. I always feel like a greedy churl after talking to him. However, my older sisters’ kids got sizable starts to their college funds when my mom was still alive. I feel like I owe it to my kids to keep asking, particularly since it is in large part my mother’s savings that she never got to use.Anonymous:

Your story includes a couple of those ways already — new spouse, extravagance. Another is the most straightforward: It’s not your money, it’s his. To start: “I appreciate that, Dad. For planning purposes, I hope you’ll share what you have in mind.”

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