Care and Feeding: My Kids Are Such Negative Nellies. How Can I Get Them to Appreciate How Good They Have It?

I feel like I've tried every strategy imaginable to help my kids improve their attitudes.

“Moving forward”—as we are all urged to do —sounds so simple. But it rarely is. I wish I could offer you a recipe for letting go of your pain, resentment, and anger so that you can move on . I am guessing you are hopeful that confronting her will free you from your unhappiness and rage, but fearful that the cost to her may be too great. Is it worth it?

A conversation with your mother is long overdue. You do need to tell her how much you have suffered from the abuse and neglect of your childhood. You need to tell how much it hurts you that she has never acknowledged or begged forgiveness for this, and that she takes undeserved credit for your having turned out so well, despite her failure to parent you as you deserved to be parented. You may want to tell her how much it angers you that she wears a mantle of feminist piety.

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