The bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto takes about two hours and 15 minutes – enough time to pull off cartoonishly over\u002Dthe\u002Dtop action movie.
These quirky characters – and half a dozen other lethal so-and-sos, with names like “the Hornet” and “the Wolf” – are identified by giant on-screen labels superimposed over their flash-frozen mugs, the way Martin Scorsese or Guy Ritchie like to intro their ensembles. “Bullet Train” feels like it comes from the same brain as “Snatch,” wearing its pop style on its sleeve – a “Kill Bill”-like mix of martial arts, manga and gabby hitman movie influences, minus the vision or wit that implies.
Meanwhile, innocent bystanders are at a minimum. There’s a busybody woman who keeps shushing Ladybug and Lemon when their fist-fighting gets too disruptive, but after a few stops, practically the only passengers who remain aboard are ones who would literally kill for that briefcase. There’s also an incredibly poisonous Boomslang snake, whose venom takes effect in 30 seconds, making victims bleed from their eyes, like poor Logan Lerman .
Still, there’s something callous about how casually Leitch takes human life. “Bullet Train” reps one of the first and most ambitious pandemic-made blockbusters to be released, demonstrating that Leitch and company felt confident enough the world would go back to normal that they could have the Prince push a six-year-old off a roof just to lure the kid’s father onto the train. King’s character is a real piece of work, wearing a black bob and pink schoolgirl-style getup.
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