Six-time Tony Award nominee and MoulinRougeBway star DannyBurstein opens up with moving candor and unflinching detail about his coronavirus ordeal in a deeply personal essay
Back at home recovering with his wife — fellow Broadway treasure Rebecca Luker, who revealed in February that she had been diagnosed with ALS late last year — and family, Burstein was urged by playwright Sarah Ruhl to write about his experience, which he does with moving candor and unflinching detail in the following essay.It was when I was on my hands and knees in the shower that I knew it was time to go to the hospital.
I was feeling listless and stuffy so I decided to take a shower on Sunday evening, March 22. Shortly after soaping up my face, my breathing became labored, I felt a tightening in my chest. I couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs. I felt light-headed and got down on one knee fearing I was about to faint or fall.
The mood in the ER was one of steady exhaustion. They were professional and thorough, but clearly overworked. Having said that, the care I received was excellent. After a chest x-ray, my doctor told me I had all the symptoms of double pneumonia. He urged me to agree to be admitted because I have a preexisting condition, thyroiditis and my age was just at the cusp of being worrisome.
My fever would jump up to nearly 104 at one point, I had a day where I had trouble breathing several times and thought it might be my time. I just kept calming myself down every time it seemed dire. Strength through stillness, I kept telling myself, lengthening the back of my neck as I did. It was very isolating and scary. What's an actor without his breath?
Our room was near the nurses' station and I could hear the statuses of different patients. I heard about the many patients who coded while I was there. This "patient needed a ventilator," or that "patient needed to be intubated" or "rushed to ICU." At least every hour or so there was an announcement over a god mic, which everyone suddenly froze to hear, that announced an emergency in a certain room.
I watch the news and scream at the stupidity of our president and wonder if my job on Broadway will come back any time soon. I'm so curious to see how theater can move forward. How gathering can move forward. Storytelling. Intimacy. How love moves forward.
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