“What if I'm cuter online? Like, what if I'm funnier online?”
Bretman said, recalling anxious thoughts. “All of these thoughts [are] like running through my brain and the other person is probably not even thinking anything that I'm thinking.”
Bretman said his anxiety grew with his fame — it wasn’t something he struggled with when he was a kid. “I was more confident and I gave less ‘ish’ about what anyone had to say about me when I was younger,” Bretman said. He added that his sexuality wasn’t a source of concern, describing Hawaii as a “gay island” where gay people are not ridiculed over their sexuality. “Our license plate is a rainbow for God's sake. And in Hawaiian culture,, or gay people, are not really teased.” Fondly reflecting on his upbringing, he went on, “I was always nurtured with so much aloha and love back here.
Among some of the more triggering moments are meet and greets, when Bretman may encounter 200 to 500 people per event. “I'm very sensitive when it comes to energy because I grew up very spiritual and people's energy genuinely stay[s] with me,” he explained. “Sometimes being exposed to so many people all of a sudden, it was hard for me to mask my emotions that your energy has to be the same for each person.
For those who don’t have anxiety, Bretman urged compassion, particularly to parents whose kids might be struggling with anxiety or depression. “Make them feel like you are trying to understand what they're going through,” he said. Try normalizing the situation, and recommending real coping mechanisms: “‘Breathe,’” he said, “tell me to breathe.”
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