Lana Schwartz and Luke Strathmann humorously list boyfriend red flags throughout the ages, from the Paleolithic era to today.
Paleolithic Era You spend ages rubbing various stones and flints together until, one day—bam—sparks fly, and you’ve created the first ever fire. Your caveman boyfriend grunts to alert the rest of your tribe to this incredible discovery. When everyone gathers around, he lets out a loud, “Ooh ooh oh ahh aah ah,” claiming it was his invention. 3,400 B.C.E.
The American Revolution Your colonial lover hasn’t been the same since the Stamp Act. Most nights, in bed, he won’t shut up about how only representative assemblies can levy direct internal taxes. He’s even considering a “Folly of England, Ruin of America” tattoo. Although it’s kind of hot that he’s so politically involved, suddenly date night is watching him dump tea in the local harbor.
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