'I’ll admit, I was really acting out, having tons of sex with all different people. And even though that was 'legal' in our marriage, it was excessive and not handled with emotional care on my part.'
Illustration: Jeni Zhen In “Both Sides of a Breakup,” the Cut talks to exes about how they got together and why they split up. Ellen and Jay, both 29, got married after Ellen got pregnant. Jay hoped this meant Ellen was stuck with him for good, but she never wanted a traditional, monogamous relationship with a man.
Ellen: We both came from broken homes and were sort of like stray dogs, so we had no one to talk to about any of this. We only had each other, and that brought us closer. I think there was something sexy and exciting about that. That being said, I had a pit in my stomach from that point on. I never thought I wanted kids, and now I was 19 and pregnant. I didn’t want to have an abortion.
Jay: I told her we would deal with the monogamy thing after our daughter was born. I thought she might feel differently. The pregnancy bought me some time. Then we had our daughter and we began to talk about opening our marriage. She instigated the conversation, obviously. I was never a fan of the idea but I knew it was the only way Ellen would stay with me.
Ellen: So, I’m in love with Shelly, dealing with Jay, and then I find out I’m pregnant again. The only good news here is that besides Jay, I was only fucking women, so there was no question who the father was. Jay: Now we had two kids under age 2 and no money. It wasn’t easy. All our professional dreams had been squashed. But, I don’t know, I wasn’t upset about it. I felt lucky in many ways. My kids were healthy and I had a family—I never really had a sense of family before. That’s more than many people can say.
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