In her own words, bishopbriggs opens up about struggling with her mental health, getting help, and writing songs in honor of her sister.
I’m curled up in my bed watching, a new Apple TV+ thriller directed by Ben Stiller and starring Adam Scott, best known for his work inbears similarities to the sci-fi anthology, and at first I’m intrigued by the show’s take on work-life balance. For Scott and his co-workers at the fictional mega-corp Lumon Industries, being “severed” means that for eight hours a day — a typical work day — you exist without any memories of your life outside of Lumon.
When I lost my older sister, Kate, to ovarian cancer last year, I remember how, in the dark one night, I typed into my phone “I want to kill myself. What should I do?” I felt trapped in my own brain, fearful that if I shared these thoughts with anyone, even mental-health professionals, I would not be met with the compassion I needed.
After months of neglecting my physical health, my mum finally asked me to go for a physical checkup with a general practitioner. I dragged my feet — I only went out of respect for my sister, who, when she was alive, was big into positive thinking, yoga, and manifesting. I knew she would’ve wanted me to take care of myself.
Everything came to a head one night when I was sitting on the couch with my husband. When you’re living together, you’re seeing that person in every possible state. I think because he knew the pain of what I was feeling, having experienced grief and loss himself, he would consistently check in on me to see if I was OK. Sitting on the sofa that night, I turned to him and said, “It’s crazy — I feel like I can’t share with any therapist what I’m really feeling. Like it’s illegal or something.
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