Resist the urge to keep on talking: Some silence is not only good for conversations — it's good for you, too.
Why is an awkward silence so awkward? Why do extended breaks in conversations make us feel uncomfortable? Many of us would rather talk over someone than risk an excruciating bout of dead air. We can’t stop talking long enough to listen and, when we do take a break, most of that time is spent planning what we’re going to say next.
“We may suddenly think that we said something stupid, offensive, or that the person we’re in a conversation with isn’t that interested in talking to us,” says Tashiro. Silence, or an extended break in a conversation, has all sorts of negative connotations, says social cognition researcher, and much of it depends on perspective. When a police officer is interrogating a crime suspect who pauses for too long, it may be perceived that the suspect is using that interval of time to fabricate a lie. When a business person is proposing a deal and the other end of the conversation responds with silence, it could be construed as hesitation or doubt.
Albers-Bowling says that extroverts get a lot of kudos in American culture while introverts are often undervalued. But learning to listen is so important to our relationships.
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