AskPolly: “I started cheating on my boyfriends in college, and it’s a habit that has followed me into adulthood. It started out with onetime hookups and escalated into full-on affairs”
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy. Dear Polly,
The guy I’m cheating on him with is also a great guy, but I don’t feel the same comfort, ease, and love with him as I do with my boyfriend. He checks a lot of my boxes , but I would hate to leave my loving, supportive, compatible boyfriend for someone who might not be worth it. I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I love my boyfriend. But on the other, I’m literally cheating on him.
Milking is a good word for it. They’re trapped by your lies while you suck the life force out of them. It’s not romantic and it’s not sexy and it’s not just selfish, it’s deeply unethical and punishing and unfair and wildly abusive. You may have started down the path to becoming a serial cheater simply because you were sloppy with other people or never took other people’s feelings seriously or you had some sensitivity chip missing .
There isn’t a good way to sell anyone on ethics these days, particularly since so many of the people who bray the loudest about ethics at this moment in history are among the most depraved cretins in the known universe — and many of them are armed to the teeth, to boot. You aren’t likely to understand at first. I just need for you to INTEND to understand that you’re hurting yourself every single minute you continue to live the way you’re living.
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