I love my girlfriend, and I adore her daughter. But I’m not sure I want to become a dad immediately. What should I do?
Dear Lisi: My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We are both 30, neither have ever been married. She has a three-year-old from a previous relationship.
Our relationship is now at the point where we’re either looking at a future together, or we need to end it. I’m confused and torn. I love my girlfriend, and I adore her daughter. But I’m not sure I want to become a dad immediately. I envisioned meeting someone, dating, getting married, and in time, having our own family.The decision is entirely yours , but I’m happy to help you work it through.
Think of this child as a gift, an extra blessing in your life. And lucky you, you got to skip the sleepless nights and multitude of diaper changes . Secondly, focus on the kids, as they need all the love and support you can give them. That might help her meet others in the various activities that would be natural … sports, shopping, hikes etc.
I was on my own for 25 years, and raised children. I worked on myself and through extending myself, I eventually met the most empathetic, deeply spiritual man I could imagine. We clicked and have been together ever since. When I think back to all the tears I shed in those early days, it feels like a miracle to have a caring loving relationship again! That young widow will find another… but she must give it time first.Reader — I am a guy who has been on the receiving end of such behaviour.
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