Starting to feel uncomfortable within a complicated marriage may mean you need to open a new level of honest communication with yourself and others.
Dear Ellie: I was married for eight years to a man who bought himself a private apartment in another city to which he’d “leave town on business” with another woman. They had this affair for about three years before I discovered the company’s monthly bill for the apartment’s utilities.
The fact is that I’m pretty comfortable with things as they are. I travel a lot, and I negotiated with him that I have access to the “getaway” apartment that he bought. I understand that this isn’t a plan for everybody’s marriage, but it works for ours. Also, his affair has since ended. Would I be foolish to leave my husband and a way of life I’m still enjoying, or am I setting myself up for a lonely future?If you’re most concerned about your marriage ending, start examining your current most important relationship needs and goals. If you now believe that there’s no way you can fully repair the marriage, even though you like your current lifestyle, it’s time to look to new possibilities. It will stimulate personal achievement in many different areas.
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