Dear Amy: Three years ago, I successfully followed your advice on how to manage my boyfriend’s codependent family.
We are now engaged! Through therapy my fiancé and I have learned to navigate their emotional immaturity and have grown immensely as a couple as a result.I am now wondering about wedding planning. What are the expectations around including in-laws who do not act as though they want to be included?AdvertisementHis family has not mentioned the engagement a single time since it happened .
Understand that whenever you accept someone’s money , there is a likelihood that they will interpret this as you basically “partnering” with them. Decide if you really want to ask for or accept money from people who have extreme boundary issues, and are also completely disinterested.Is his family interested in hosting a rehearsal dinner ? You could ask them if they’re interested in taking that on and hosting it.
Remember that you and your guy are a team, and stick with your therapy – it will help you through this highly charged time.I’d like to announce that if you are really serious about wishing ME a Happy/Merry/Whatever, please take just a few seconds to send something personal to me instead of grouping me together with everyone in your contacts list.
I admit that I did not know until now that Merry Christmas group texts are a “thing.” And now that I do know they’re a thing, I pray to baby Jesus that I don’t land on anyone’s list.You should do a quick internet search to see how to remove yourself from these chains, or “mute” the conversation.
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