It’s gotten to the point that I’ve taken a vow of silence toward my husband.
I have taken a sort of “vow of silence” around my husband of 40 years.
I would like to be able to communicate openly about that issue and other issues in our marriage. I’d like to be able to discuss my hopes and dreams. I’d like to be able to share silly, fun thoughts and creative ideas. So, if I brought up my feeling that my husband often contradicts me, he most certainly would reply, “No, I don’t!”It would be self-sabotage to leave the marriage after 40 years.I would like to break my vow of silence, feeling secure that I won’t immediately be contradicted, but I’m at a loss for how to do that.If your husband’s contradictory reactions are confined mainly to his interactions with you, then it would seem that his entrenched negativity is expressing hostility toward you.
I hope you will try to start a conversation about the effect this is having on you. If you use “I” statements, such as, “I feel sad when you respond to me with such negativity,” he can shoot back, “No, you don’t” — which will bring the whole process into the realm of the absurd, and might catch his attention.
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