Dear Amy: My brother (age 60) has had a difficult life. He has been fired over a dozen times from various jobs.
How can I maintain boundaries while making sure that he is OK?If you are willing to contribute when you’re asked to pay medical bills, you should ask your brother to show you the actual bills, confirm them with the physician’s office, and pay them directly.
You have attempted to intervene on behalf of other elderly relatives, and you should do the same for your father. You should talk with him about your brother’s requests, and if your dad is competent, willing, and able to fulfill these requests, you could help him by visiting his bank and exploring your options.
You have been careful about maintaining boundaries, but you should also understand that you will not always be able to control the outcome. One of the friends, who is an amateur artist, painted a picture, had it framed, and presented it to me as payment for her inclusion in the activity.How do I return the artwork and request payment in legal tender, without creating a rift within this friendship?I don’t think it’s necessary to return the painting, although — depending on your friend’s reaction — you could offer to do so.
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