Dear Amy: You often mention the need to exercise \u0022compassionate detachment,\u0022 especially with adult children.
There is a saying that being a parent is like having your heart wander around the world without you, and it is so true.I have really improved in terms of not offering unsolicited advice and comments, but I constantly worry about choices they make and feel their pain possibly even more acutely than they do .It is to the point where I often wake up in the middle of the night worrying.
Developing loving and compassionate detachment is a process that involves a certain amount of realistic self-assessment. Some people are temperamentally more inclined toward worry than others. And any time your child struggles with serious health issues, this will trigger a wave of worry.Does your fretting serve your children, ease their pain, or soothe their wounds?
If you truly understand and accept your powerlessness; if you accept that other adults have the right to make choices – even bad ones – you will see that oftentimes the most powerful thing you can do is to abide with others through their challenges. Cogent teachers who will help you to work through these feelings and impulses are: Pema Chodron, Brene Brown, and Glennon Doyle. All have multiple books and video teachings available.There was no argument that precipitated that occurrence.
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