Dear Amy: My father, who is 83 years old, was \u0022picked up\u0022 by a woman of the same age at a senior centre dance.
Advertisement 4The ex named his other two children as beneficiaries on his life insurance. He did not name my daughter as a beneficiary.My daughter is hurt by this omission.I provided my daughter with a beautiful life. She is a successful person with a master’s degree and is well liked by everyone who knows her.
Your only job here is to encourage your daughter to make the choice that serves her the best, and to support her choice. Attending this funeral will not erase her wounded feelings. But egging her on to retaliate will not erase her wounded feelings, either – in fact, I believe that an attempt to punish her father could backfire and amplify her sadness and anger.
Furthermore – given your relationship with and attitude toward the deceased – I’m wondering why your presence at this service is even in play. Regardless of what your daughter decides to do, unless she expressly asks you to attend in order to support her, you should definitely stay home.
I also feel badgered and scrutinized when the credit card machine is thrust at me with the only easy options for tipping boldly labelled: 18%, 20%, 25%.Dear Obstinate: I understand the pressure to tip on the automated credit card reader, but one option is also “no tip.”
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