We all have a few control-freak tendencies, but here’s why truly sharing the child-raising responsibilities with your partner can lead to a happier household.
, Yares says. If you find yourself feeling like you’re the only one who can care for your child, or you feel like you can’t trust your partner to keep your child safe when you’re not in the room, bring these feelings up with your OB, your pediatrician or your mental health provider, who can help you find resources.
Jen, a mom of one, says she didn’t recognize that the frequent fights with her husband were all a part of postpartum anxiety. “My son had been in the NICU, so I was very overprotective, and I felt like I was the only one who could care for him. My husband felt shut out,” says Jen, who remembers giving her husband advice on everything from diapering to dressing their son.
Taking full advantage of paternity leave, if offered, can also help you and your partner be on the same footing when it comes to taking care of your child. “My wife and I have four kids, and I didn’t take full leave until my fourth. The difference was incredible,” Yares says. While it’s not possible for all parents, it’s key for both of you to find your own ways to parent early on. Yes, your partner may rock your child differently than you do. But is it “wrong?” No.
” that you both agree to check once a day. The more you have equal access to the same info, the more you can both take responsibility.Instead of assuming things will shake out to 50/50, talk about specific responsibilities you can take on. “In my house, I do all the cooking and cleaning,” Yares says. “Anything having to do with food, like bringing in treats to a kid’s class for a party, falls to me.” Take a 360-degree view of your lives and routines.
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