It may be necessary if you don’t see your folks often or these are the first holidays you’ll be together since the pandemic started. But tread carefully.
Holiday gatherings may present an opportunity to talk to your parents about important money issues, such as estate planning or long-term care. The need to discuss this stuff may feel particularly acute if you don’t see your folks often or these are the first holidays you’ll be together since the pandemic started.
Instead, research some options in advance so you can present choices to your parents rather than issuing orders. If they don’t have long-term-care insurance, for example, they might be able to sell investments or tap their home equity to pay for a nursing home stay. If they don’t have an advance directive or other estate planning documents, you could offer to help them use estate planning software or find them an estate planning attorney.
Take the approach you think will work best with your parents. However you bring it up, pivot quickly to asking for your parents’ perspective. It’s important to listen more than you talk, especially at the beginning. Ask follow-up questions and consider paraphrasing what you’re hearing to show that you’re actively listening . People who feel heard are less likely to be defensive and more likely to listen to what you have to say, Goyer says.If your parents aren’t troubled by a situation, but you are, Goyer recommends using “I” statements.
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