OpEd: “As harmful legislation is passed, I’ve begun to water down my queerness in public in an attempt to protect myself.”
, seeing to prevent certain discussions about gender identity and sexual orientation in the classroom.
As harmful legislation is being passed in the South and elsewhere, I’ve begun to water down my queerness in public in an attempt to protect myself. I’ve left pride events, wiping off the rainbow on my face that I painted with lipstick in case someone on the train would have a problem with it. I’ve peeled off my queer bumper stickers, fearing that I would pass confederate flags driving to the beach. I have always had to find anbutton that I could press, in case who I was wasn’t well received.
I didn’t understand my queerness and transness in elementary school. All I understood was that my identity felt unwarranted. In many ways, there was a certain death involved in not knowing who I was. I have mourned both the real and made-up versions of myself. But my community brought back to life that part of me that I didn’t even know existed as a kid.
In Trader Joe’s that day, I think that I saw a part of myself in the kid with bright eyes and freckles. I wanted to tell them not to come out because, every day, there are people and groups trying to find ways to limit our gender expression and further marginalize our safety. But, as more young people come out as LGBTQ, it’s more clear than ever that no amount of legislation can erase us.
The truth is, my feelings of twoness won’t go away overnight, and a nine second TikTok won’t change how society sees queer and trans people. But, as students across the country organize protests and rallies fighting for our rights to exist in school spaces, I feel a sliver of hope. Maybe
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