'I'm a boss, I'm a friend... I'm an adversary, I'm a button pusher.' Andy
), or host of not only the high-tension reunion episodes that he's said amount to the Housewives' Super Bowl, but alsoAt a live taping of the show, it's clear that Cohen's memory is unsurprisingly aided by the help of notecards, a teleprompter and a team of quick-footed producers.
There's also a certain level of mental and emotional cruise control happening, undoubtedly required of any figure as consistently public as Cohen. As guests Lisa Rinna and Celeste Barber, an actress best known for her comedic recreations of celebrity Instagram posts, kiki over cocktails, Cohen leans back in his chair, notecards in hand and crooked smile fixed to his face as he deftly fields audience calls, plays parlor games, laughs gamely at a Barber gag — lifting up her dress to show off spandex bike shorts printed with Andy Warhol-esque portraits of Lisa Rinna's face — and riffs with the audience of no more than 30 in an intimate setting made to replicate his Greenwich Village duplex, a stuffed dog that looks like his rescue mix, Wacha, placed in a basket next to his chair and all. True to his word, despite it being only a day after our interview at a sunny outdoor cafe in the Village where we sat with the actual Wacha and talked over iced teas, when Cohen pauses for a photo opp with me after what feels like the quickest hour in television history, he doesn't recognize me, at all. But back to those bike shorts. The cameras and live audience, goaded by those producers in headsets, went wild for them and the inherent absurdity of Rinna's face printed like Marilyn Monroe stamps all over Barber's crotch. A certain lowbrow sensibility made into money-making art is exactly what Cohen, like Warhol before him, had in mind when he first createdout of raw footage of nouveau riche Orange County women living their lives for the cameras, without filters."So much of what [Warhol] was talking about came true," Cohen says."Today, part of me thinks that he would be painting the Real Housewives, because they're real people that became famous, and there's something larger than life about them. They could be a part of his Factory, in a weird way. They're part of mine." Cohen isn't the first successful businessman-cum-artiste to compare himself to Warhol, but he may be the most accurate in doing so. If Warhol was the center around which New York's freakiest egos rotated, then Cohen is the radiantly hot sun around which the Bravolebrities, as they're called, orbit. Like Warhol's superstars, Cohen's characters find their fifteen minutes can quickly turn into an hour or two, given the right branding.And what makes a good reality star?"Someone who's funny and unique and interesting to watch. Someone who has something to say, and is different, surprising and just watchable," Cohen says."There's a fine line between people who are desperate to be on reality television, and people who you want to watch on reality television. The Venn diagram of desperation and watchable, it's a very slim thing in the middle where it overlaps, and you're like, 'That's the bullseye, that's Nene Leakes, that's Vicki [Gunvalson], that's Bethenny [Frankel]." All veteran housewives of over a decade, those three women anchor some of the franchise's strongest installments: repping Atlanta, Orange County and New York City respectively. Cohen has known some of them for over 13 years."I very much believe in boundaries," he says."And sometimes I keep boundaries up with people who have no boundaries. These are people who invite cameras into their homes." It's not uncommon for the people Cohen has turned into stars to refer to him as a father figure; reached for comment for this story, Rinna said simply:"Andy Cohen is the BIG DADDY of pop culture." Cohen admits,"It's a complicated relationship."I'm a boss, I'm a friend... I'm an adversary, I'm a button pusher. I've become legitimately friends with many of them. I care about them. So it's nuanced. And sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not great. It's an emotional relationship." We all have daddy issues; just consider the collective conscience that chose to elect a narcissistic brute to the highest Big Daddy office in the land. During our national psyche's intake by a cavalcade of writers, thinkers and armchair psychologists following that decision,as a contender for the reason behind why our prudish American sensibility had suddenly turned sour and vulgar, but to hear it from Cohen, we've maybe always been this way. The elements already existed; he's just here to point out the obvious."I don't think there's anything entertaining about what's going on in Washington right now," Cohen clarifies."I think that what can't be underestimated is how comfortable this beast is in front of the camera. What he's learned is how to take people down, and that a certain part of the population has responded to that positively in the political arena, I find gross," he says."[Trump] has made us a conflict based society, and it's upsetting." Describing himself as both a realist and an optimist made sad by our current state, Cohen also revealed that the most popular polls on"The polls we get the most votes on, are, 'Whose side are you on? Bethenny or Carol? Nene or Cynthia?'" he says."It's like, 'Wow, we got 15,000 votes in two minutes,' you know? People like to pick a side." Our innate fondness for judging human behavior is part of what makes Bravo shows so successful, Cohen says. Though it's rarely totally impossible to guess what he's thinking, Cohen's public persona is grounded in lighthearted neutrality amidst a whirlwind of polarizing characters."I stabilize unstable situations," Cohen says."I let things roll off me."Conflict, Cohen knows, is precisely what keeps audiences tuned in, so long as it's relatable enough that it could be happening to someone we know, but still set in a cosmos fabricated enough to feel far, far away. The fourth wall may have been shattered by reality television, but a transparent yet solid fifth wall remains — it may be reality, but it's still TV. And though Cohen won't say he's ever regretted a casting decision, there's a definite if undefined line a star can cross that gets them booted from the stage. "If they become a turn-off to viewers, for whatever reason — they appear too fake, they're not interesting, they're not entertaining," then they're no longer fit for our consumption , Cohen says."When people cross the line and it becomes unreal, that's when they are out." As to whether that extends to our political circus?"I don't know," Cohen says."Part of me thinks that if the economy stays doing as good as it is that he'll be reelected."knew that there was no such thing as a guilty pleasure, that the now ubiquitous High/Low concept so beloved in modern fashion for its accessible irony and cheaper price points is the only mashup that matters."What's great about this country," Warhol wrote,"is America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you can know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." Swap out"Authenticity is important in everything I do," Cohen says, slipping his gold-rimmed aviators down his nose to look me in the eye."I think it's the reasonhas been going for 10 years. We don't pre-interview our guests, it's live, and it's a totally unique experience for a half an hour." Like his broadcasting hero Howard Stern, Cohen has a knack for getting people to share things they normally wouldn't on air. Whether it's on his SiriusXM channel RadioAndy, WWHL or a Housewives reunion, audiences know that a Cohen interview will always be juicy."[The viewer] knows that if
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