An ode to Chuck E. Cheese, literally the worst job I've ever had
There was also a cotton candy mixer that I wasn’t allowed to operate until I was 16. When they did train me on it, I had to watch an instructional safety video that asked me not to “climb inside and put my limbs in danger.” I was only 5'3 at the time, and could’ve probably fit too! Over the three years I haunted the place, my job also took on many new functions. At times I was a waiter, slinging pizzas and previously frozen fries and wings.
There was also the time a woman snatched a baby that wasn’t hers, and some incredibly piggish police officers had to perform some sort of sting operation. I remember them asking me if I could “act normal” when serving her my pizza. I didn’t know what “normal” was, so I was just like, “Here’s your pizza,” and left like I always did. They later recovered the baby, safe and sound, in case you were worried.Most memorable, though, was a birthday party I hosted.
Who knows what the future holds for Charles Entertainment Cheese. At the very least, he can use this downtime while the courts sort through his finances, for a sabbatical to one of the many animatronic vacation homes I’m sure he owns. But as for me, I’ll always have my memories.
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