'Ours is the sort of summer break that drives other moms to the edge.'
I’ve gathered that much from social media and the throngs of parents clamoring to get their kids back to the classroom. In my local moms’ group, one mom started a countdown to the first day of school — a post that was met with cheers and champagne emojis. All across the neighborhood, and I’d assume every neighborhood across the country, parents are ready to practically catapult their children from their homes.
All I can think to do in response is to gape in jealous wonder. “How do you do it?” I want to say. “What do you do with all this fear?” I long to ask. “What sort of animal strength do you summon to survive as a mother these days?” I want to beg. And perhaps most desperately: “How do I find it for myself?”
I know summer cannot last forever. In just a few weeks, I will have to push open the garden gate and head back through the wintry forest to face my deepest fears. Soon, I will once again be annoyed by the rigors of the school year: the uniforms to iron and the lunches to pack. I will pretend to be calm and breezy, wearing my imaginary peace like a life jacket. I will let go of tiny hands with a smile on my face, and kiss foreheads before they disappear behind school doors.
But for now, no countdowns. No champagne emojis for me. Let me stay here in summertime just a bit longer, these little hands in mine and a sea of flowers at our feet.is a writer and editor living in the Midwest with her husband and two young children. Her work explores the intersection of mental health and parenting and has appeared in Forbes Health, The Everymom, Cubby, and other publications. She is the editorial director at Mother Untitled.
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