There’s a reason your kid is an angel at school or daycare but a hot mess at home. It's called after-school restraint collapse. Here's how to deal with it.
, his mom, Kristi Kraychy, heard nothing but positive reviews about his behaviour. He was a total angel, said his teacher; he worked hard and listened well. Naturally, Kraychy was pleased—but she could hardly believe it. That’s because Parker was routinely a hot mess at home after school. Angry, yelling meltdowns were an almost-daily occurrence for months.
Some children are more susceptible to after-school restraint collapse than others. “More sensitive and intense kids, and kids struggling with learning and social skills, will be more likely to be affected,” says Vanessa Lapointe, a parenting educator and registered psychologist in Surrey, BC. “More chill kids can have their days too if it was a particularly challenging day, or they are extra tired or getting sick.
As a teacher herself, Kraychy wasn’t surprised by her children’s behaviour—but she wasn’t prepared for Parker’s daily tornado of emotion, either. “I understood what was happening,” she says. “The ‘good kids’ at school use a lot of energy being well-behaved and navigating the complexities of social behaviour. They wait until they’re safe at home to unleash all the pent-up emotions with someone they trust and love. Even knowing this, it was hard to deal with every day.
What about screen time as a decompression method? Lapointe says it’s OK as a last resort if it seems to work for your kids—as long as you fill them up with some human connection first.Thankfully, there are ways to mitigate this after-school agony. Nair recommends getting in the habit of reconnecting positively when you see your kids after school. “Greet your child with a smile and a hug instead of questions about homework.
Above all, both Lapointe and Nair emphasize staying connected during the day. “Send yourself to school with them,” says Lapointe. “Write notes for their lunch box. Fill their hands full of kisses. Keep a picture of you and them together in their backpack.” If your kids feel like you’re with them, supporting them through the day, they’re less likely to feel vulnerable, and later, angry with you for not physically being there.
Canada Latest News, Canada Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
20 after-school questions that will actually get your kids talkingA lot of kids have no idea what grown-ups want when they ask, 'How was your day?' Ask them these conversation-starting questions instead!
Read more »
Robert Pattinson Had Batman On His Mind 'For A While' Before Landing RoleRobert Pattinson has been gearing up to play Batman for quite a while now
Read more »
22 Things They Don't Teach In High School That You Learn Immediately In College22 Things They Don't Teach In High School That You Learn Pretty Much Immediately In College
Read more »
This Video of Princess Charlotte's First Day of School Is Truly the Cutest Thing EverHER OUTFIT.
Read more »
Mom says elementary school sent home wrong kid on the bus: 'It was the scariest thing'According to an administrator, a substitute teacher had mixed up the woman's son with another boy and put him on the bus instead.
Read more »
Why Julia Stiles Wanted to Star in 10 Things I Hate About YouThe Real Reason Julia Stiles Wanted to Be in 10 Things I Hate About You
Read more »