'I thought the close friends I’d relied on and cried to when my mum was ill would be there for me when she died.' 'I was sadly mistaken.' ✍ Catherine Renton for MetroOpinion
‘I need you, can we talk?’ read the message I’d sent to my friend Jane.*When my mum succumbed to terminalAs the first of my friends to lose a parent, I had no guidance fromI quickly discovered that the death of a close relative makes people uncomfortable and awkward, especially if they haven’t yet experienced it.
Towards the end of her life, I moved in, helping my dad to care for her in her final weeks. She died at home with just her immediate family there, which is what she wanted. In the early days of grief, I saw life continuing without me on social media, with nights out and parties I wasn’t invited to.I became angry, not with my friends for disappearing, but at myself for not putting on a brave enough face to be accepted by society.I was open with my emotions and cried easily. That made people uneasy and made me think I should be smothering my feelings and pretending everything was OK.
One in eight surveyed admit they have actively gone out of their way to avoid someone who has lost a loved one because they don’t know what to say. Grief showed me who my true friends were and most of the people I’d once held dear didn’t seem to miss me from their lives. Losing a parent is hard enough, but losing your friends as well? That’s a heartbreak I’m still getting over.
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