We're counting down the 10 most read articles on Healthing in 2022. At 9: Not telling your partner that you have a sexually transmitted infection is not only uncool — it's not fair - via healthing_ca top10 healthing healthnews countdown STI
I performed oral sex a couple of times on my boyfriend, which in itself isn’t a big deal, except that I carry the herpes simplex virus 1 and 2 and I haven’t told him. We also had vaginal sex. I didn’t have an outbreak at the time and there were no blisters on my mouth or genitals at the time. Still, I feel so badly for not telling him. Should he be tested? And how can I talk to him about it?You aren’t the first person not to divulge their sexual health concerns to their partner.
Genital herpes type 1 can be transmitted through oral-to-oral contact, like kissing or sharing a toothbrush, and herpes type 2 can be acquired by having unprotected sex with someone who already has it. And although it’s rare, the virus can also be activated after having, usually within 24 to 48 hours after the procedure. Herpes is most contagious when there is an outbreak, but it can also be passed to your partner even if there are no visible symptoms.
Telling your partner you have a sexually transmitted disease can be stressful, but it’s important. You can make it less awkward if you share the news in a relaxed setting, gently introducing the topic by saying something like “I had my annual pap smear and it looks like I have the virus that causes herpes.
It’s hard to say how a conversation like this is going to go. A lot depends on the strength of your relationship and how willing you both are to accommodate each other’s concerns and worries. The bottom line though is that any partner deserves to know if the person they are intimate with has an infection or disease that can be transmitted sexually. You can’t undo the past, but don’t let it ruin your future.
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