Four therapists share their strategies for calming down and gaining perspective.
Challenging events are unavoidable. Daily life can bring arguments with loved ones, nights awake with crying kids, mistakes at work, or bad news about health or finances — and that's just scratching the surface. But how we handle the resulting feelings of frustration or overwhelm needn't be inevitable. We can reach for decompression techniques that will help us calm down, gain perspective and act with intention — rather than react on impulse and potentially make our situation worse.
"Even though it feels counterintuitive in the moment, when we slow down, we actually allow ourselves to recalibrate," she said. This can look like reconnecting with the body by doing some breathwork, planting the feet firmly on the ground and noticing how it feels to wiggle the toes, or stepping firmly to notice those sensations.
Practising SOBER away from stressful situations can prepare us for those intense moments. "I don't work on my forehand during a game. I work on it by myself against the wall … so when in the game, it's already well rehearsed," Shaul said, using a tennis analogy. The confidence that builds is important to success when it comes to this practice.
Having said that, Beaulieu also sees grounding practices as very effective in the moment, when people are in distress. This may involve activating the five senses and turning to the environment to move away from our thoughts, emotions and sensations in our body. "So looking, for example, at our surroundings: describing things that we can see, smelling things, tasting things, touching different objects," she said.
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