Advice: After becoming more irritable and short-tempered, a spouse wants to be “kinder and more loving” to husband of 53 years.
We were insanely in love, and over the years, I have become less in love, more irritable and more short-tempered with him — and everyone else, I might add. There are more and more moments when I think I want to live alone.
What can I do to make myself be kinder and more loving with him? I have tried therapy, which did not help. Help me love my husband again.Can you afford, and manage logistically, some time where you live apart? I’m not talking about a legal separation; I mean things such as alternating solo vacations with ones you take together, or studying for x weeks at y program, or spending a season in one place while your husband spends it in another.This is where separate interests are a lifeline.
But to draw some fortitude, think of all the ways people have found this space away from their spouses over the years that had the appearance of social acceptability: men’s and women’s clubs, weekend golf/fishing/shopping/lunching, workaholic tendencies, volunteering at church.
· You don’t mention what he is like or whether he is lovable to you. Think of what you really want at this point in your life. What happiness or contentment looks like. Who you want to be, including being pleased over your interactions with others. If you are grouchy because you are not living a life that satisfies you, take time with your values to see what might be possible.
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