Advice: Seamstress, who is volunteering at a nonprofit, feels like a woman took advantage of their skills and didn’t donate enough to the cause.
Recently, “Kara” contacted us and asked us to create a copy of a dress she had. She told me that if we figured out how to make this, we could let the Afghan women make and sell them. She provided fabric for the copy.
I spent six hours figuring out how to make the item and documenting it with photos and instructions. I then made a sample. I have been a professional seamstress, but I’m also a soft touch. I never charge as much as the work is worth. In this case, I intended to ask Kara to give a donation to the charity so we could purchase more fabric. One hundred dollars didn’t seem out of line.As it turns out, Kara loved what I did and wore the sample out the door.
After she left, I felt used, so I called her and told her that she needed to pay me for my time if she was going to sell this dress design for a profit. However, now I feel guilty! I hate myself for calling her. Was I wrong to call her? Or am I wrong to feel guilty?People often ask if they are “wrong” to feel a particular way. And my answer is always the same: Your feelings are your feelings. They are neither right nor wrong. They simply are.
If you don’t set your price and state it clearly before doing the work, then you leave it up to the buyer to guess a fair compensation — or to gently rip you off. I give your choice to follow up with Kara a “five star” rating. I hope you will take this episode as an opportunity to adjust your business model.Over the years my brother and I have stopped communicating. He is toxic, bossy and creates problems among family members. As a result, we siblings don’t really communicate with him.
I would want to do the right thing by my nephew by supporting him, but I also wouldn’t want to create any problems within my brother’s family. I and my other siblings and all our children all remain on good terms with family gatherings and communications. I believe I am the only one that attempts to stay in touch with my nephew.Unless you strongly suspect that your presence would make things harder for your brother’s family and other survivors, then yes — you should attend his funeral.
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