If you crave intimacy but have a pattern of sabotaging connections when it starts to matter, it may be because of a fear of intimacy. We asked therapists to explain what causes this fear, how to recognize it, and what to do about it.
You went away for a weekend trip with your new S.O. and had an amazing time. But back in the comfort of your own home, you feel a vulnerability hangover. The discomfort could become so overwhelming that you begin pushing off their requests to hang out again, opting to isolate to feel better."A common vulnerability is sharing how much you care about the person or how you are enjoying or valuing their time with them," Gomez says.
If your partner has a fear of intimacy, healing can happen. But not until they can practice what it's like to communicate their thoughts out loud safely. As you listen, hold them with generosity and try to avoid personalizing what they're telling you."It takes time to build that trust. It doesn't necessarily say anything about you if they have trouble being intimate," she adds."This is not the time or place to convince them why it's safe to be open because that will lead to 'yeah but...' or them shutting down if they're not ready.
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