These toxic relationship behaviors often go unrecognized, but they can inflict lasting damage, writes angrytherapist
If you're in an abusive relationship , you know it's toxic. You may minimize it. You may struggle to leave. But you definitely know it's unhealthy. If not the bruises on your arms, the cuts on your feet from all the eggshells, or the pent-upin your heart, your friends and family have been telling you for a long time now. So it's just a matter of time before you've had enough. Before you finally realize you deserve better more.
But what if a relationship isn't abusive? What if he's never laid a hand on you, gaslighted you, or played mind games? What if he has never abused you physically or emotionally? Can the relationship still be toxic?And these relationships are just as if not more dangerous and damaging than an abusive relationship because you may not be aware that it's harming you.
, and disconnect you from you, without you knowing it. That's what makes it so dangerous. You are not aware of it. Toxic isn't always obvious. It can fly under the radar, be a slow burn, a tightening of the vice.That's why it's important to step back once in a while and take a closer look at your relationship. Not as an evaluation. More of a check in. With yourself. Because when we're in something, it's hard to see. Time can blur things.
Assassinating one's character isn't always obvious. You can be doing it without intending to. Many of us grew up belittling friends and siblings as a way to connect, especially boys who spent a lot of time in locker rooms. Idiot, loser, bitch, pussy. But also women whoWhen I was in my early thirties, I called my girlfriend a"pig" once after she ate the rest of the fruit while I was in the restroom. Of course I was joking and I didn't think it was a big deal.
But control can also come in decaf, a subtle between-the-lines push that can make people do things out ofor other things, depending on one's story, that we may not be aware we're doing. We can get people to change by leveraging who they are and what they've been through. Not intentionally. It may not be coming from an evil place. You may just want the best for them.
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