Dispelling these common misconceptions can help us better navigate the experience of losing someone we love
For many people, what is known about death and dying comes from television and movies. However, what is portrayed is typically not accurate. One of the greatest fears that we as humans have is theof dying. Most of us do not want to think, read, or talk about it. As a result, people are often misguided in their beliefs about what goes on when someone is dying. Not having the correct information can intensify our fears and even lead to more suffering for the dying and the soon-to-be bereaved.
Myth #1: If I am not there when my loved one dies, it means that I am terrible, callous, a failure, bad, or an unloving person. I once worked with a woman who had been unable to be with her mother when she died and felt terribly guilty for years. When her father was dying, she was determined to have things be different. She moved him into her home. She and her family took turns sitting with him so he would not be alone. She was with him the most. One day she was alone in the house with her father. The doorbell rang. She initially thought she would not answer the door, but remembered that they were expecting a package.
Myth #4: I should always be positive around my dying loved one, so they can stay positive and live longer.can deter it. Only focusing on the positive can also be a way of avoiding and denying the fact that death is coming. It is fine to talk about happy, pleasant memories, but the dying may also want to talk about what is happening to them and their feelings. If they are able to communicate, just listen and let them talk. They may have something important that they want to say.
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