In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (1813), differences in social status form the central theme and act as sizable obstacles to the characters. You’d think that now, more than two hundred years later, society would have evolved beyond such rigid structural divisions.
They would eat dinner at relatively fancy places most nights, and our fridge was constantly stuffed with their leftovers that I was eventually given permission to just eat, because 90% of the time it would just sit there for a week before getting tossed.But in many ways she was SHOCKINGLY sheltered and essentially lived in a different world.
I once dated a girl born from a *very* rich family... like,"They own sports teams " level of wealthy. He asked me if I liked her because of the money or if it's because of who she is. I explained that I grew up fairly poor, I was always good at making my way and finding ways to be happy with what I could manage. I was fine with the relatively cheap hotels and everything else I did before her because I'm doing what I love and getting to make enough of a living to not have to work some 9-5. He laughed, and said that he liked me, and that if it worked out with her...
It feels really f*****g good, but only when their wealth is balanced with self awareness. They’ll have their out of touch moments but their random acts of kindness towards strangers/ me make up for it. Forewarning when/ if the relationship ends you will dread going back to your previous lifestyle more than the breakup. It’s like being exiled from the cool kids table to being forced to eat lunch in the bathroom.
Honestly, I think I have a pretty perfect life, and it is because of the generosity on my wife’s parents. I work very hard, and make a good salary, but at a nonprofit because I don’t really need the money, and the work is meaningful to me. I have a multimillion dollar home with no mortgage. My kids go to private school, and I don’t have to worry about their tuition. We take nice vacations once a year. We don’t spend our money on needless things, but we don’t have to ever worry about money.
I never realized how influential the name was until visiting New York and staying at the 4 seasons a manager came over and called my F-I-L by name and pushed us to the front of the line. We were treated like royalty that week. I married into a wealthy family and moved overseas to live with them. They aren’t considered particularly wealthy in their country, but from my home standards, they certainly live in a mansion! I grew up with split parents: one below poverty and one middle-class who always worked. I saw life from both sides of the spectrum. It’s interesting to see how some people have kids with no concept of money management.
If they’re really wealthy, you’d be surprised how superficial their relationships are with other wealthy people and just how normal that is. I thought Hollywood made that up for a trope but no. It’s all superficial but they have this weird almost familial obligation to maintain relationships with each other.
Not me but one of my friends is in an undefined sexual relationship with a rich guy. He offers to do a lot for her, but she's hesitant to accept any of it. The biggest thing she described to me is when they were getting intimate while she was on her period. She bled on his comforter that costs over 500 USD. She was extremely apologetic and wanted to try to clean it, but he insisted it was fine and that she relax. He said he could just replace it if it doesn't wash out later.
I was shocked at how down-to-earth, caring, and giving very wealthy people are in real life. On the internet, they are vilified to the 10th degree, but I have never met anyone in that part of society who wasn't charitable and generally nice to the people around them. Mine wasn't that long of a relationship but there were some things that made me realize just how different our lives were.
I struggled with planning for my future because I never really knew if I could afford the things I needed to live; at most my future plans involved *hopefully* finding a job in game development, but he was literally talking about *curing cancer*. The difference in our ambitions was baffling and I believe one reason for that is he grew up having everything, no limits, no worries and that influenced his way of thinking about his future.
Because wealthy people don’t have “real” problems they very often make up their own problems which typically translates to drama between people. Sometimes it’s outward loud drama and you’ll see folks get into a shouting match or something but what’s interesting is it’s often much more subtle and there’s **A LOT** of backstabbing.
She on multiple occasions offered to “pay for your share” which I took up only once. I also had to kinda get her into the habit of splitting the bill After knowing him for about a year, he invited me round his house, which was within walking distance of campus. At least I thought it was a house, but when I got there it was actually a mansion. There was a Ferrari parked out front and, when I asked him about it, his response was"oh that's just the one my dad is driving today." He then showed me around his dad's custom-built parking garage, which had half a dozen other luxury cars and room for more.
He was a genuinely good guy. Kind, generous, absolutely willing to step up and be a father figure to my boys . I've told him - and 100% truly meant every word - that the best gift he gave me wasn't the car or jewelry or the great trips. He gave me the gift of time with my kids. The divorce had been so nasty, we'd spent several years just going thru hell and trying to survive. And for those 6 months, for the first time ever, I had both plenty of time AND money to just enjoy life. And those 6 months were AMAZING. Every day was an adventure.
Or one time she just said she has to go to China the next day for work, do I want to come with her, I can just stay at her place with her. Now I would have loved to say I took her up on these offers, but it was so weird to me at the time that I made excuses or say I couldn't go because of work or whatever. Looking back I still get mad at myself for not just f*****g off from my job and seeing how far this could go.
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