People who are high in narcissism instinctively know how to use our best qualities against us. Here are some behaviors to watch out for, according to DrErinLeonard
, which means he or she routinely looks at herself or himself. This introspective tendency, although uncomfortable at times, allows him or her to take responsibility for a mistake in a relationship. Authentically owning a misstep, feeling intense remorse, and actively repairing the damage by communicating a full understanding of how a selfish moment hurt a loved one allows this person to maintain trust and closeness in relationships.
Unfortunately, this may not go as smoothly with a narcissist. He or she tends to immediately deflect and project accountability instead of looking in the mirror. The disagreement typically escalates because the narcissist’s projections are unfair. Understandably, the person reels under the attack, and immediately self-reflects.
For example, Ben discovers Ellie is accruing debt on a shared credit card. He is sickened because he is not sure how to pay the enormous balance. Distraught, he calls Ellie to confront her and discuss a plan to handle the situation. Ellie immediately begins sobbing on the phone. She says she feels invisible to Ben and shopped to combat feeling alone in the relationship. She claims she is too upset to talk about it. When Ben arrives home and attempts to re-address the issue, Ellie escalates.
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