Pushing out your belly to see what you'd look like pregnant.
1. Dance to Destiny’s Child in the mirror to see how good your moves are.3. Lie on the ground and stretch your legs in a sort of naked DIY yoga.6. Wonder if it is a normal size.8. Feel vaguely horrified., even if secretly you’re not sure they are.12. Push your boobs up so they look like you’re in13. Let them flop down again and wonder if they have sagged a lot since last year.15. Feel anxious about aging.17. Try to get the nipples into their warm state again, but fail.20.
29. Put on a full face of drag queen-level makeup and strut a pretend runway towards the mirror to see if you’re as good as the queens on31. Use a vibrator.33. Sit on the floor and contemplate your entire life for 10 minutes.35. Lie for hours on your bed, neck-deep in your ex’s Instagram feed.38. Pluck your toe hair.
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