Dive into our collection of 100 dark humor jokes - morbid one-liners and inappropriate quips that will leave you laughing.
You're on the list! Expect to receive your first email very soon!is an excellent spice to a dull conversation. But what about the witty lines that lean into dark and uncomfortable territory?
9. “People asked me to explain why I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there because they can’t fit under the bed anymore, and I’m too lazy to throw them out.” 6. “My Uncle Frank died, so I cornered the funeral director to get a discount on his burial plot. The man refused and slammed the door while saying, ‘Sorry, it’s a dead-end deal.’”
10. “If I ever meet death, I hope he’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt. That way, I know we’re going somewhere warm.”1. “The good thing about catching a cold is it’s a free excuse to avoid people — like social distancing, but with extra snot.” 7. “I told my boss I couldn’t come in because I was feeling ill. He said, ‘Don’t worry, we’ve all felt dead inside since 2020.’”
5. “I asked why there are no winners in war. Someone told me, ‘Because, in the end, we’re all just losers.’”7. “You know it’s a bad day when your best option is surviving a war zone.”9. “They say war brings out the best in men. I think they meant the best at hiding fear.” 5. “My profile reads I want children and I’m pro-choice, especially when it comes to choosing not to talk about it at parties.”
2. “I told my psychiatrist I felt dead inside because I was feeling like I was losing my mind. He said, ‘Don’t worry; it’s working. You’re just making space for something new.’”4. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think I’ve overdosed.” 3. “I signed up for a self-help seminar, but the guy running it was just as lost as I am. Sign up to learn more today.”5. “Life’s a joke, but we’re all in on it.”7. “I spent years climbing and still holding the ladder of success, only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall.”9. “The best part about irony is that it’s always there when you least need it.”1. “I used to be an optimist, but then I realized nothing matters.”just a passenger — until the bills come.
4. “I tried to find meaning in life, but all I found were unanswered texts, expired coupons, and a note on the fridge that says, ‘call mom’.”6. “I asked life what the point was, and it replied, ‘I’m still figuring things out myself.’”8. “Life is just one long existential shrug, and I’m not even sure what the question was.”
Canada Latest News, Canada Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Phoenix weathers 100 days of 100-plus degree temps as heat scorches western U.S.It's always hot this time of year in central Arizona, but 2024 is proving to be an endless summer with especially high temperatures in Phoenix. On Tuesday, the city hit its 100th straight day with at least 100 degree temperatures.
Read more »
Western US braces for extreme heat; Phoenix passes 100 days over 100 degreesThe southwestern U.S. can expect multiple days of supercharged heat beginning on Tuesday, with the homeless, elderly, children, and people with health issues...
Read more »
Phoenix weathers 100 days of 100-plus degree temps as heat scorches western USPHOENIX (AP) — Cam Ferguson gets to his spot on the street adjacent to Chase Field — home of Major League Baseball's Arizona Diamondbacks — about four hours before first pitch to set up his usual display of cold water, sports drinks, peanuts and cand
Read more »
Phoenix weathers 100 days of 100-plus degree temps as heat scorches western USPHOENIX (AP) — Cam Ferguson gets to his spot on the street adjacent to Chase Field — home of Major League Baseball's Arizona Diamondbacks — about four hours before first pitch to set up his usual display of cold water, sports drinks, peanuts and cand
Read more »
Phoenix weathers 100 days of 100-plus degree temps as heat scorches western USPHOENIX (AP) — Cam Ferguson gets to his spot on the street adjacent to Chase Field — home of Major League Baseball's Arizona Diamondbacks — about four hours before first pitch to set up his usual display of cold water, sports drinks, peanuts and cand
Read more »
Phoenix weathers 100 days of 100-plus degree temps as heat scorches western USPHOENIX (AP) — Cam Ferguson gets to his spot on the street adjacent to Chase Field — home of Major League Baseball's Arizona Diamondbacks — about four hours before first pitch to set up his usual display of cold water, sports drinks, peanuts and cand
Read more »